I found out that Ray was an executive of some sort for Intel, at their big facility on the mesa in Rio Rancho, which explained their obvious wealth and their comfort with the finer things. He mostly listened, smiling and laughing along with us, but I noticed that he often subtly tried to steer the conversation to the nights and wild times, to the times of sex and debauchery and his wife’s wantonness. Kaity always caught him and redirected the conversation back to lighter things, but it was weird. I felt bad for her, obviously embarrassed by his questions. He was planning to grill steaks for dinner, t-bones – Kaitlyn had told him that I was a pure carnivore, and that it was a safe choice – and I was left in the kitchen with Kaity, watching her prepare salads and side dishes as he took the meat out onto the expansive patio to grill. It was great to be alone with her, and I studied her as we talked while she worked. She was so gorgeous, so sexy and sophisticated in her simple skirt. It worried me that I was so willing to embrace violence as the answer to my tragedies.Rebecca sensed my confusion and said, "What they did to you was horrible. It's Ok to want them dead. Don't torture yourself for being glad he's gone. That man, whoever he was, earned what he got, and if everyone knew how evil he was, there would be a lot more people thrilled that he doesn't exist anymore."Baby, you have to let it all go. It's going to be all right. I promise."Benjamin must have felt the same way, because he took that instant to lick the back of my hand.Just once.He gave me one little lick to let me know that he was there, and that he loved me. Between Colleen, Rebecca, and Ben, I felt like the most loved person on earth.For a while life was orderly. We worked out terms on the ball team, and began the process of having it all put on paper. Colleen suggested a law firm in New York that had experience with the kinds of contracts we were writing. They came on board quickly and got us.
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